A Personal Best Thwarted

[Flat tire]
This morning I was on pace for my best time riding down to work, conservatively estimated at 1:15, an 8 minute improvement from last week. Then I realized, for the second time in three rides, my front tire was flat. If I thought seeing this Berkeley car on my first ride was a sign that cycling to work was divinely appreciated, I’m not sure what to make of these mechanical failures.

This post is an example of a ‘jeremiad.’

Congrats, you win five seconds of excitement!

[Nestle Crunch wrapper]
I recently consumed a Nestle Crunch bar and found the message above inside the wrapper. As you may or may not know, I like winning things, so this made me happy. But see all that fine print there? What that says is that to get a coupon for a free Crunch bar, I have to send in the wrapper for “verification.” Apparently, some group of counterfeiters has decided to focus on candy bar contests instead of dollar bills or something. So in order to get a free Crunch bar, value approximately 60 cents, I have to spend 39 cents on a stamp and wait 6 to 8 weeks for processing. Is it safe to say that the terrorists have won?

I later noticed that the contest was over before I opened the wrapper in the first place.

The Rubik’s Cube thinks you’re stupid

I’m not sure how the maker’s of the Rubik’s Cube expect the general public to solve their puzzle, because they don’t believe you plebeians can even understand large numbers. According to the Wikipedia entry:

A Normal (3×3×3) Rubik’s Cube can have (8! × 38−1) × (12! × 212−1)/2 = 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 different positions (permutations), or about 4.3 × 1019, forty-three quintillion, but the puzzle is advertised as having only “billions” of positions, due to the general incomprehensibility of such a large number to laymen.

Things I miss about the Bay Area

Continuing what Odie and I started yesterday by email…

#1: In ‘N Out Burger
#2: Burritos
#3: Oakland Athletics
#4: Smoke free bars
#5: Public transit running on time
#6: Amoeba Music
#7: Copious food options close to work
#8: The temperature on February 3: 68 F
#9: 3 hours to Tahoe
#10: Mass at Newman
#11: The Box
#12: Calzones from Trader Joe’s
#13: The Bay Trail
#14: Crazy art at Albany Waterfront Park
#15: Eucalyptus grove
#16: Happy Happy Guy
#17: KQED
#18: Columns with frits
#19: Recycling
#20: 2 hours to Monterrey
#21: The Golden Gate
#22: No salt on my car
#23: Pet Food Express
#24: Saturday Mets games starting at 10 am
#25: Berkeley cars

Get out of my head!

This has been a banner day for songs stuck in my head. First it was Ricky Martin. Then the theme song from “Charles in Charge,” followed by the Macarena. Finally, the Spice Girls. If there’s an area of research that I want funded in this country, it’s to find the part of the brain responsible for having a song stuck in it, and develop a procedure which disables it without harming the rest of the brain. Now that’s something we should spend our tax dollars on. Seriously, I wonder how much productivity is lost by people distracting others by singing or humming these horribly catchy songs.

I don’t deserve a Ph.D.

I went to Berkeley this past week to file my thesis. I made my final corrections, collected my signatures, and headed off to the graduate division.

I was so happy, I think I was skipping across campus.

But when I met with the person in charge, it became clear that there was a problem with the title page.

I got my name wrong.

It’s not quite as bad as it sounds. I included my middle name, which was not on file with the registrar. This left me with two options: (1) reprint the title pages and collect a new round of signatures or (2) change my name with the registrar. I probably could have pulled off option 1 with some quick feet, but with the end of the semester fast approaching, I really didn’t want to take the chance. Thankfully, my new Illinois license has my full middle name, so the second option became viable. The registrar was able to do this, but the system didn’t update in time for me to file the thesis myself. Good thing I have some mighty trustworthy labmates to sort this out on Monday.

And then I’ll be a doctor.

People cheat on the written test? I’m never driving again…

Melissa and I had our first experience with the Illinois DMV yesterday. If you ever need an IL driver’s license, Deerfield is the spot. Short lines, friendly people. I like it.

Our tale of woe from the DMV has to do with a fellow IL resident. You see, our compatriot requested a copy of the written test in English. This was strange since he didn’t understand the worker’s instructions that were spoken in English. He then sat down, filled out the exam, and returned it to the counter. Every single answer was wrong. Even recognizing a red octagon as a stop sign. The DMV worker’s theory was that he had a copy of the test at home, and that he memorized the answers for that test. However, they have multiple tests at the DMV. Our friend’s ignorance of English probably didn’t help him understand these accusations. He did know one phrase in English though. As he left, he said “I try again tomorrow.”

Worst Items to Move

There are three qualities you don’t want in items when you’re planning to move: heavy, oddly shapen, and larger than a box. My strategy for packing these things was to pile them on as many pillows and soft, unbreakable items as possible and hope that they didn’t get throw onto, into, and through more fragile items.

Here are were the worst items from our recent move:

[Satellite dish]
#3 – Satellite dish – Not very heavy, but terrible shape for packing. If anyone knows of a use for this (other than signing up for dish tv service), let me know.

[Bicycle trainer]
#2 – Bicycle trainer – Just as bad a shape as the dish, but heavier. At least it’s increasing in value moving from sunny CA to the frozen tundra.

[Chubby's table]
#1 – Chubby’s table – This table from a defunct burger place has been passed around since its glory days in El Cerrito Plaza. It’s also the worst item to move. Yes, the base is removable from the top, but that base is heavy. It also has sharp edges which thankfully didn’t slice off any limbs or digits.