I recently consumed a Nestle Crunch bar and found the message above inside the wrapper. As you may or may not know, I like winning things, so this made me happy. But see all that fine print there? What that says is that to get a coupon for a free Crunch bar, I have to send in the wrapper for “verification.” Apparently, some group of counterfeiters has decided to focus on candy bar contests instead of dollar bills or something. So in order to get a free Crunch bar, value approximately 60 cents, I have to spend 39 cents on a stamp and wait 6 to 8 weeks for processing. Is it safe to say that the terrorists have won?

I later noticed that the contest was over before I opened the wrapper in the first place.