It’s an un-American one, that’s what kind.
Chicago is an American city. Oakland is an American city. South Bend is an American city. Even Waldwick is an American city. And you damn well better believe New York is an American city.
Because in an American city, when you are angry, you can go to a batting cage.
But [...]
Posts under ‘Rants’
What kind of city is San Francisco?
I’m as incompetent as the Mets
How I forget this headline from my last rant about the Mets is as appalling as the headline itself:
Livan Hernandez to first base?
There are occasions when a team might use a starting pitcher as a pinch hitter. Typically, the pitcher in question pinch hits for a relief pitcher (who gets very few plate appearances) when [...]
The Number One Guy Who Deserved to be Hit on the Road Today
To the guy riding his bike the wrong way down a major road who was
talking on his cell phone and carrying a bag of groceries in the other
hand,
I don’t wish ill on anyone, but when you get hit by a car, don’t expect any tears from me.
This week in vanity plates
DRPASTA – Italian restaurant owner?
BOYLROY – This was accompanied by an Elroy Jetson decal. Apparently this SUV is owned by an 8 year old from the ’60s.
LIFGOSN – No, there was no Corky decal.
CAR2D2 – This is the second clever plate I’ve seen on a green VW Beetle. “KARMIT” in El Cerrito is the other.
KHAKI [...]
I don’t know who flies American Airlines
American Airlines advertises during A’s radio broadcasts designed to make you think American understands you. You’re not really a business person traveling because you have to. You’re a die hard sports fan! The ad explains, “You might forget your toothbrush, but you’ll never forget the lucky socks you wear on gameday!” Toward the end of [...]
5 Things That Happened in My 20’s That I Hope Don’t Happen in My 30’s
1) I earn a Ph.D.
2) Arrested Development cancelled.
3) A member of Bush family elected to presidency twice.
4) I move to California twice.
5) Economic collapse.
The Top 3 Worst Vanity Plates I Saw Last Week
THHRBO – Remember when everything used to be “turbo”? Now everything is “extreme.” Actually, that should be “Xtreme.” Except for this guy, who wants to be turbo, but kind of knows that “turbo” went out in 1989. So he’s trying to start the “thhrbo” revolution.
SNEEEZE – Yes, three e’s. I imagine that “SNEEEZE” won out [...]
The Top Three Things That Actually Did Ruin a Synthetic Chemist’s Day Last Week
3) Unreproducible results
2) Broken Keck clip
1) Biologists editing chemistry papers
So for those of you who were asking, no, I didn’t get scooped, and I also didn’t have to raise at anyone. Except for myself, because I didn’t realize the Keck clip was broken.
Thank you to all for your concern with this matter.
Top Five Things that Ruin a Synthetic Chemist’s Day
5) Unreproducible results
4) Coworker uses up reagent, doesn’t reorder
3) Glassware missing; nobody admits to borrowing
2) Broken Keck clip
1) Getting scooped
Can anyone guess which two happened to me this week?
Case in point: ESPN is worthless
Joe Morgan is the analyst for ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball. ESPN must consider him an expert to give him this job. His responsibilities include following baseball games and news and providing intelligent commentary. He does none of these things. Consider the following exchange from last Tuesday’s chat on ESPN.com:
Lee (NYC): Joe, thanks for taking my [...]
The Shortest Distance Between Two Points, CTA Style
This is a diagram of the typical route of the CTA #174 bus from the University of Chicago to the Garfield Red Line station:
This is a diagram of the route we took last night:
The driver was clearly lost. My coworker JJ asked the driver what was happening. The driver said he missed a turn and [...]
The Five Most Annoying People I Encountered Riding My Bicycle Yesterday
tie-5) Any of the 50 people who were standing on the trail with no intention of moving
4) The female who was rollerblading very slowly across the entire width of the trail while talking on her cell phone
3) The guy riding toward me on the far right edge on a very crowded trail and made no [...]