Does anyone miss Eric Byrnes?

Looking at the standings today, does anybody miss Eric Byrnes? What about Mark Mulder? Tim Hudson?

The 2005 Athletics have been three different teams (see THT‘s graphical standings). It was tough to predict how the A’s would do this season. Only one game away from the playoffs last year, GM Billy Beane traded away the two best pitchers in Oakland’s history (by winning percentage). I wasn’t too sad to see Mulder go, after watching his decay in the second half last year, but Hudson was my favorite player on the team, and thought he should be the guy to build a pitching staff around (certainly not Zito). However, I went into the season with a cautious optimism and a real interest in watching a team with a pitching staff under 27.

After one month, the A’s managed to hold a .500 record (12-12), but it felt like the team was walking a tightrope. Well, the rope broke in May. Injuries (Crosby, Harden, Dotel, Durazo, Swisher, Calero) mounted and losses followed. I gave up on this team. After the 7-5 loss to Boston on May 17, I took my frustrations out on Zito, “Barry Zito cannot be considered the ace of this staff. When the bullpen is worn out, the ace goes more than 5 innings. The ace doesn’t walk 7 guys and get pulled early. When an offense is struggling and manages to put up some runs, the ace takes over the game. Barry Zito is no ace.” After getting swept at Tampa Bay May 24-26, I said, “Who is this team going to beat? They do nothing right. Starting pitching, relief pitching, hitting, fielding, they’re not good at anything.” At the end of May, Ken Macha started talking about getting back to .500 by the All-Star break. I thought it was more likely that Ken Macha would be fired.

However, since that time, the Athletics have done almost nothing wrong. Injuries healed. The offense, most notably Eric Chavez, turned around. The starting pitching kept their pitch counts down, and under less stress, the bullpen became a strength also.

As usual, Beane has improved the roster mid-season. Injured reliever Chad Bradford was sent to the Red Sox for OF Jay Payton. The glut of outfielders was relieved by shipping fan-favorite Eric Byrnes (and minor leaguers) to Colorado for RPs Jay Witasick and Joe Kennedy. While not as flashy as deals in previous years (e.g. for Dotel, Durham, or Dye), these moves have worked beautifully. Witasick and Kennedy have dramatically deepened the bullpen, while Payton has been both an offensive spark and defensive insurance policy for CF Mark Kotsay, who’s missed time with back problems and the birth of his second child.

Of course in May, when the A’s seemed to always be on a 7-game losing streak, the trades of Hudson and Mulder looked foolish, but what about now? Haren has arguably out-pitched Mulder, especially recently, and Beane was able to also get the key RP Calero and hot prospect Daric Barton. The Hudson trade is not as rosy for sure, with none of the three players acquired on the major league roster. However, Thomas and Cruz have straightened themselves out at AAA Sacramento, and Meyer is now healthy. On the other side, Hudson has not been the dominating pitcher we knew in Oakland, still hampered by the oblique problems he battled here. So while it would be nice to have Hudson in the rotation instead of Saarloos, Beane may have cut bait at the right time and saved a huge chunk of change at the same time.

Looking at how well the A’s have played for the last 2+ months, now with the second best record in the AL, this team is Beane’s greatest accomplishment. For years, praise for Beane was always tempered by the presence of the “Big Three.” This year, Beane has completely reconstructed the pitching staff, coped with season ending injuries to Dotel and Durazo, and put together a team that’s poised to succeed for the next several years.

This week the A’s will be hosting the Angels to decide the leadership in the AL West. And I dont think anyone will be missing Eric Byrnes.

Did Mac learn something when designing the iPod?

I don’t know why this took so long, or is a front page story on Yahoo! for that matter, but the new Mac mouse will have multiple buttons. Did they figure this out when they made a prototype iPod with only one button? Maybe not considering the newer Shuffles’ (overly) simplistic design. Anyway, the odds of me purchasing a Mac just went from “absolute zero” to “give me a delete key and we’ll talk.”

Here’s the Yahoo! story.

Why couldn’t I be a major league pitcher?

Four reasons I’d make a great pitcher:

  • I’m a gazelle off the mound.
  • I like to show off my socks.
  • I have no problem pitching inside.
  • My fastball has good sinking action.

Four reasons I’d never make it as a pitcher:

  • I’m too expensive.
  • I have a propensity for fluke injuries, especially cutting my fingers/hands while washing dishes.
  • I don’t get along well with the media.
  • My fastball tops out at 70 mph.

Metering Lights

We were driving into ‘Frisco (as the locals call it) last Friday, and they had the metering lights on at the Bay Bridge. I got to wondering about where this ingenious idea started. Wikipedia explains that Chicago first used a police officer to control entrance onto the Ike in 1963. Many cities (including Sydney!) now use the stoplight variety to control traffic flow. Caltrans estimates commuters save 20 minutes thanks to the metering lights at the Bay Bridge.

What if it were Friday everyday?

It sounds like a great idea.

“I love Friday! I wish it could be Friday everyday!”

No you don’t. Because if everyday were Friday, then there would never be Saturday. That’s really what makes Friday great, the anticipation of Saturday. Friday is pretty good, but it’s co-dependent on Saturday. Friday is riding Saturday’s coat tails into the hearts of workers everywhere. Similarly, Sunday gets a bum rap because it’s followed by Monday. Sunday must be so jealous of Friday. I mean, let’s say you’re a day where everyone should be happy because they don’t have to work, but those same people love you less than a day when they do have to work. Yep, Sunday can’t be happy about this situation.

Neiman-Marcus Cookies

Normally I wouldn’t do this, but what’s below was an email forward from Dandy Malec, and I want to do my part to stick it to a bunch of republicans like Neiman-Marcus. Enjoy.

This is a true story.

My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the”Neiman-Marcus cookie.” It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the waitress said with a small frown, “I’m afraid not, but you can buy the recipe.

Well, I asked how much, and she responded, “Only two fifty-it’s a great deal!”

I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab. Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge was $285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, “Cookie Recipe – $250.00”. That was outrageous!

I called Neiman’s Accounting Department and told them the waitress said it was “two fifty”, which clearly does not mean “two hundred and fifty dollars” by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.

They would not refund my money because, according to them, “What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point.”

I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas attorney General’s office for engaging in fraud.

I was basically told, “Do what you want. Don’t bother thinking of how you can get even, and don’t bother trying to get any of your money back.” I just said, Okay, you folks got my $250, and now I’m going t! o have $250 worth of fun.” I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus…for free.

She replied, “I wish you wouldn’t do this.”

I said, “Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped me off!” and slammed down the phone. So here it is! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250 for this, and I don’t want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make another penny off of this recipe!

NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)
2 cups butter
24 oz. chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 8 oz Hershey Bar (grated)
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.

Sounds great right? Maybe this actually happened, but this very recipe is available at the Neiman-Marcus website. Of course it could be a savvy PR person preventing backlash by claiming the above story was an urban legend. The world may never know.

Mystery solved?

I’ve been having problems with milk lately. Most grocery stores (Albertsons, Safeway) offer a substantial discount if you buy two gallons of milk. I use a lot of milk because I eat two bowls of cereal every morning for breakfast, so I probably consume milk at the same rate as a small family. Thus, I usually win the race with the expiration date. Recently however, the second gallon of milk has been going bad only a couple of days after opening, up to 5 days before the expiration date. At first I thought it was just a bad batch of milk; then it seemed to only happen with milk purchased at Safeway. But after a string of early sourings from Albertsons, I reopened my search for the true culprit, and that search took me to the back of my refrigerator. There I discovered that our thermostat was set to the warmest temperature, probably accidentally altered when I threw a loaf of bread back there. After a day at a higher setting, the fridge is noticeably cooler and hopefully this will result in extended milk freshness.

To be honest, I’m a bit embarrassed that it took me so long to figure this out. Apparently I wasn’t able to extrapolate the wise words of Barry Bonds, “You need to clean out your closets before you start trying to clean mine!” from winter coat storage areas to low temperature food storage devices.

Humor

I decided that I need more humor on the ol’ Realm of the Wombat. I mean, I’m now the #1 hit in google for the search realm of the wombat (without quotes at least). Ok here goes.

So Odie and I were driving into SF a couple weeks ago, and we’re turning onto Mission from 9th, and I look across the street and I see a local convenience store. I see the name, channel the bumbling cartoon superhero in me and yell, “Go Go Corner Market!”

Did anyone pick up on the Inspector Gadget reference? I would say that you had to be there, but Odie didn’t think it was funny. In fact, he found it more funny that I thought it was funny. The name of the store is “Go Go Corner Market.” I think that screams Inspector Gadget. That’s what passes for humor in my head these days.

Happy, Happy, Happy

[Happy, Happy]
Now here’s some vintage Berkeley. This guy stands on his table at the entrance to Sproul Plaza and yells “Happy, happy, happy!” at students all day. He used to do this every day, and he had some other sayings like “Not one penny!” or “People are dying because of the war!” Then he disappeared some time in 2002 and now only shows up sporadically, so it’s sort of a treat when we see him. One time he was in front of me in line at Albertson’s with his signs and everything. I guess even protesters have to stock their kitchens.