Four reasons I’d make a great pitcher:
- I’m a gazelle off the mound.
- I like to show off my socks.
- I have no problem pitching inside.
- My fastball has good sinking action.
Four reasons I’d never make it as a pitcher:
- I’m too expensive.
- I have a propensity for fluke injuries, especially cutting my fingers/hands while washing dishes.
- I don’t get along well with the media.
- My fastball tops out at 70 mph.