Flat Tire Redemption

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I was driving to work last week on I-280. I was in the far left lane going about 80 mph, when I noticed that the car in front of me, an Audi of some type, had a flat tire. Apparently it does not substantially affect the performance of an Audi to have a flat rear driver-side tire, because the driver was cruising along at 80 mph without a care in the world. Traffic was fairly heavy, so I could not pull alongside him to get his attention. I flashed my lights and honked the horn a few times to no avail. By the time the traffic lightened, he was making his way to the right lane to exit. If that guy got into a fiery wreck later on, I guess I’m partially responsible.

Cut to this week, I’m heading home from work on Sand Hill Rd in Palo Alto, and I notice that the car in front of me has a flat tire. Rear driver-side again. This time I manage to pull along side, roll down the window, hit the horn, and start pointing. The driver rolls down his window, and I yell “Flat tire, back left!” He yells a thanks back and immediately pulls over. Potential crisis averted. That’s just good citizenry.

Who to root for in the 2010 World Series

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I’ve been asked to weigh in on who to root for in the 2010 World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Texas Rangers. Let’s handle this scientifically:

Pro-Rangers: They beat the Yankees. Their manager is Ron Washington, the former infield coach for the Oakland A’s, who is credited by Eric Chavez for turning him into a multiple Gold Glove winning third baseman.

Pro-Giants: They beat the Phillies.

Anti-Rangers: They were previously owned by George W. Bush, who used his father’s political influence to acquire the land and public financing to build the Ballpark in Arlington, artificially inflating the value of the franchise before sale to Tom Hicks. He parlayed this into successful runs for statewide and national office. The Texas roster also includes the likes of Jeff Francoeur, whose horrible play captivated the New York media during his time with the Mets over 2009-2010.

Anti-Giants: Their fans are among the biggest bandwagoneers I have ever observed. During Game Six of the NLCS against the Phillies, I was at Trader Joe’s. More than half of the other shoppers were wearing Giants gear, displaying the dedication to their team that could only be interrupted by the need to buy Mandarin Orange Chicken and Pesto and Sundried Tomato Torta. They are too drunk on Two Buck Chuck to notice that their precious Pablo “Panda” Sandoval has added hitting to baserunning and fielding as things that he’s not good at on a baseball field.

Conclusion: There’s only one winner during this year’s World Series, the New York Mets and their fans. The hiring of Sandy Alderson as new GM signals a commitment to reform the organization from the the front office, through the major league roster, and down to the farm system, where the championships of the future are won and lost. So Giants and Rangers, enjoy your time on the stage while it lasts, because flukes like you come and go, but the impending dominance of the New York National League Club is coming.

A Picture and a Thousand Words: Jeff Francoeur Edition

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This is a picture of what’s wrong with Jeff Francoeur:

[Jeff Francoeur's 'strike zone']

This is a thousand words about what’s wrong with Jeff Francouer:

Jeff Francoeur, outfielder, formerly of the Atlanta Braves, recently of the New York Mets, and currently of the Texas Rangers, has everything you want in a major league outfielder. He’s a big strong guy with a great arm and decent speed for a guy if his size. He plays hard and swings hard. His main goal in life is to drive in runs. His teammates seem to like him. He smiles a lot and has “the good face” and has a nickname, ‘Frenchy.’ He talks to reporters, and they love him. A famous magazine once did this:

[The Natural - Can anyone be this good?]
He has everything you want in a major league outfielder.

Except for one thing.

He has almost no ability to hit major league pitching.

He neither has any concept of the strike zone, nor does he make enough contact to overcome this deficiency. Despite looking like a strong guy and swinging hard, he has only once hit more than 20 home runs in a season. He does not believe that the rate of one not making outs is relevant to being good at baseball, famously asking “If on-base percentage is so important, then why don’t they put it up on the scoreboard?” Nevermind that his home ballpark at the time did in fact display on-base percentage.

Despite having no discernible talent for hitting at the major league level, he has received more than 3400 plate appearances, far more chances than he deserves. Yet, he has either no desire or ability to improve. During the 2008 season, he was struggling and sent to the minors to get back on track. He made such a stink about it, he would only play three games before being called back up to the majors. This year, he was struggling, and the Mets decided he would be a part time player. Francoeur requested a trade and got it.

A guy who isn’t good at baseball and doesn’t want to get better and thinks of himself before the team is not a guy I want on my team.

Here’s the Mets fans reaction to his trade to the Rangers:

[89% of Mets fans are idiots]

I don’t know what kind of spell Francoeur puts on people, but I want to bottle it and sell it for millions of dollars.

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Never Forget

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On September 11, I found myself looking at this:

[Twin Towers Memorial Trees]
[Twin Towers Memorial Trees]

At the time, all I could think of was the David Cross line, “Do you think that on September 11, that the people who worked at the New York New York casino felt it a little deeper?”

A couple of days later though, thinking about the zero progress rebuilding at Ground Zero and the fight over the mosque and people accusing Obama of being a Muslim and the fact that that is even considered a slur, it was pretty damn nice to spend the Ninth Anniversary at Confusion Hill.