I’m as incompetent as the Mets

How I forget this headline from my last rant about the Mets is as appalling as the headline itself:

Livan Hernandez to first base?

There are occasions when a team might use a starting pitcher as a pinch hitter. Typically, the pitcher in question pinch hits for a relief pitcher (who gets very few plate appearances) when the team is trying to conserve a bench player or is out of bench players. Livan Hernandez has a lifetime batting average of .228, which is pretty good for a pitcher. So Livan Hernandez might be a guy a manager would consider using to pinch hit for a relief pitcher in a special circumstance.

HOWEVER.

Livan Hernandez’s role is first and foremost to act as a starting pitcher. Livan Hernandez is a terrible in this capacity. He should not be on any major league roster, as a pitcher, let alone as an option in the field. The fact that Jerry Manuel, the Mets’ manager, suggested to a member of the media that Livan Hernandez could be used at first base implies a level of roster mismanagement that is incomprehensible. The fact that this came up in any conversation is proof to me that Mets’ management is entirely devoid of competence and should be not be allowed to make any decisions of consequence.

Ain’t nothing about this phony – redux

That was the statement by Cliff Floyd when the Mets surged to the top of the NL early in the 2006 season. Well there ain’t nothing phony about the 2009 Mets’ 50-56 record. It’s so bad that:

  • Giving up 1, 2, and 5 runs in the eighth, ninth, and tenth innings, respectively, to lose to St. Louis tonight doesn’t even qualify as a major disappointment this year.
  • Not making a deal at the trade deadline represents ‘good judgment’ for this management.
  • Gary Sheffield is the second best hitter on this team.
  • The Mets traded for this guy, and he has only walked once for New York, and that was an intentional walk. Adding to my exasperation, he does not consider this a problem.

Long Live Lawn Bowling! Down with Bocce!

Golden Gate Park has lawn bowling greens where bocce playing is specifically prohibited. Did you know that lawn bowling and bocce are different things? I didn’t. But I have since learned that in bocce, the balls are spherical, but in bowling, the balls are asymmetric, having a flat side that can be used to curve the balls’ trajectory as they roll down the green. Hence, lawn bowling is the land equivalent to curling. Which makes it inherently better than bocce. Thus, only lawn bowling is allowed in this American town.

Astros vs. Cubs

On Monday night, Dad and I went to see the Astros play the Cubs at Wrigley. There was little offense, with only two runs scored and few scoring chances. The pitching was fair, but not dominant. No exciting defensive plays were made. Lou Pinella didn’t even get into an argument.

And it was the most memorable game I’ve ever been to.

I was negligent in checking the time of the game, so we didn’t realize that ESPN moved the start time to 6:00, an hour earlier than we expected. Fortunately, we were planning to show up early, so we only missed half an hour, but in that time, one of the two runs was scored, as the Astros took a 1-0 lead in the first inning. A bit disappointed, we settled into our seats in the upper deck along side Cubs fans dressed up for 70’s night. The Astros tacked on a run in the 4th via a walk with the bases loaded. Meanwhile, the Cubs couldn’t solve the riddle that was Houston pitcher Brian Moehler, but we figured it was only a matter of time.

That time never came though. In the top of the sixth, the sky darkened and flashed from lightning in the distance. It started to rain lightly. Within a couple minutes though, the rain intensified while the time between the thunder and lightning decreased. The umpires called for the groundscrew to put the tarp on the field. Fans in the expensive seats ran to the concourse, while the die-hards in the bleachers refused to give up their prime general admission seats. Eventually, with the lightning strikes becoming more frequent, security cleared the bleachers and lower deck entirely. People in the upper deck looked around with dry satisfaction. That is, until the wind picked up, making no seat safe from the water. Pools of water built up on the warning track both in the outfield and behind home plate. A waterfall sprouted on top of the press box and showered the seats below. In addition to ambulance and fire engine sirens, tornado warning sirens rang out for more than half an hour.

We finally moved from our seats toward the press box to stay a little drier. Some other fans were getting restless, as two ran on the field to use the giant impromptu slip and slide. In addition to his water sliding, one of these took 70’s night very seriously, as he was dressed in an impeccable Elvis costume. The crowd loved the performance, but security didn’t, chasing him down and roughing him up.

After about two hours, the rain relented enough to let the grounds keepers work on the field. After clearing out the drains from debris, the water on the warning track dissipated. The water on the tarp was dumped into left field and squeegeed into the new outfield drainage system. At 10:20, 2 hours and 45 minutes after the stoppage, the game resumed.

With less than half the attendance remaining, Dad and I moved to the front section of the upper deck. Strangely, the atmosphere felt more intimate somehow with so few people in the crowd. It felt like you could have a conversation with anyone in the park, whether in the stands, on the field, or in the press box.

Our new location also put us in prime position for foul balls from left handed batters. I didn’t have a glove with me, so I decided that if a ball came our way, I’d try to catch it in my hat. Sure enough, with Kosuke Fukudome at the plate in the 7th inning, he slashed a foul ball toward our section. I grabbed my hat off my head. It was coming right toward me. I lined it up. And missed it. Even in a pinch, a hat is no substitute for a glove.

(FYI, the ball landed under my seat. I tossed it to a kid that was sitting a few rows behind us. The nearby fans gave me some applause for the generosity, and that made up for the indignity of missing the catch.)

It was getting late, but the game was moving along quickly. A few distant lightning strikes lit up the sky occasionally. Then in the bottom of the eighth, there was a crash that seemed just outside the stadium. Astros first baseman Lance Berkman ran three-quarters of the way to the dugout. After a pause, where everyone on the field appeared to just look at each other without knowing what to do, the field was cleared again. Even though there was only lightning, the tarp went back on the field. It turned out to be a smart decision, because within a few minutes, the rain was back, even more severe than before. Everyone in the stadium was forced down to the concourse. Again, it was a good decision, because the lightning was also more severe. The ramps from the upper deck became rivers. Any small leak in the old ballpark was revealed.

We waited patiently on the concourse. Partly, we wanted to see the end of the game, but probably more realistically, we weren’t going to leave the dry Wrigley concourse for a walk through the downpour. It turned out that we had seen the end of the game, as after another 40 minutes, the game was called.

We walked outside, and the rain stopped.

So to review, the official time of the game was 2:19 (thirty minutes of which we didn’t see), and the unofficial time of rain delays was 3:25. It was awesome.

The Psychology of White Sox Fans

White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf recently conducted an informal survey of his team’s fans. Here’s what he has to report:

“I’ve asked a lot of White Sox fans: ‘If given the choice of both teams in the playoffs or neither team being in the playoffs, what would you pick?’ The answer is usually neither, because, ‘I can’t take the chance the Cubs might win.’ And these are from some fairly intelligent people.” [Tribune article]

I think that rationale is the antithesis of intelligent, but such are the White Sox.

The top two things I didn’t expect to see at a baseball game this year

#1, Little League Division:
Occasionally in non-professional games, a pitch will be thrown above or behind the batter, and the ball will incidentally hit the bat and land in foul territory. This is seen as a lucky break for the pitcher, as the pitch was destined to be called a ball, but instead goes as a strike, without the batter swinging at the pitch. However, at a recent little league game in Ohio, a pitch was thrown behind the batter that hit the bat and landed in fair territory. Most everyone at the field believed it was a foul ball. Fortunately, that population did not include the umpire who, after several seconds of silence, informed the 9-11 year old players that the ball was in play. The batter reached first, completely unintentionally obtaining a single.

#1, MLB Division:
Felix Hernandez is a 22 year old pitcher for the Seattle Mariners. He made his debut at age 19 and is expected to be one of the best pitchers of this generation. However, playing in the American League, he has few opportunities to take a turn at bat. In fact, he only has two hits in his career. (It’s also likely that he had no hits in the minor leagues.) The first came on June 10, 2007, when he reached first safely on a bunt that was presumably meant to sacrifice a runner to second base. The second hit came on Monday night, facing Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball over the last 5+ years, at Shea Stadium, a park that supressed home runs by 10% in the 2007 season. In the second inning, Hernandez came to the plate, with two outs and the bases loaded; there was no chance he would be bunting. Instead, the budding superstar hit a fastball, later described by Santana as out of the strike zone, over the right-center fence for a grand slam.

And that, my friends, is what happened on my last visit to Shea Stadium.