Future Career: International Spy

I am the least conspicuous, least memorable person ever.

Exhibit A: In the summer of 2000, Odie and I were both planning to spend the summer at Notre Dame. We wanted to get a room in the air conditioned dorm, but our schedules didn’t allow us to move in at the same time. I went to the housing office to work this out. The woman I talked to told me the issue could be resolved, She said she’d talk to her supervisor later that day and I should come back the next day to sign some forms. I returned as planned and talked to the same woman. She did not remember me from the previous day. I gave her the details of our conversation. She again denied that we had spoken, and in fact became irritated that I was trying to circumvent their summer housing policies. As a result, I sizzled in the friendly confines of Morrissey Hall for three months.

Exhibit B: Last night I was walking down to the bus stop in Berkeley. I hear a woman behind me say, “Sorry! Sorry!” and then something hit me in the left calf. I turned to find that she had run her bike right into me. Her only response to the dumbfounded look on my face was another “Sorry!” after which she rode off.

Apparently, the human mind can repress any interaction with me within 24 hours, and furthermore does not even acknowledge my physical existence until impact is imminent. Time to put my powers as the invisible man to use. I should be able to infiltrate any nation or organization without fear of discovery.

It is safe to disclose this information on the internet, because I will disappear from your mind without a trace.

One thought on “Future Career: International Spy

  1. You were there that summer? I don’t remember that. I do remember watching Arlington Road on the Fourth of July though….whoa, what a surprise ending. And I was all alone for it too.

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