I’ve never been so proud of Odie as when he related this story of his trip to Wrigley to watch his beloved Pittsburgh ‘Irates take on the Cubbies.
Scene: Odie, wearing his #18 Jason Kendall Pirates jersey, and Jack are in the bleachers
Odie: Jack, even though the Pirates are losing, I’m sure glad to be at the game.
Heckler #1: Hey Kendall, why not wear a good #18 from Pirates history?
Odie: Wow, that’s a good heckle. Andy van Slyke was number 18 before Kendall, and he was much better. I’m going to let that go.
Heckler #2: Hey Kendall, where’s Barbie?
Heckler #3: Yeah, where’s Barbie?
Odie: Well, that’s not really a good heckle, but they’re Cubs fans, so they don’t really have much to cheer about.
Heckler #2: Come on Kendall, where’s Barbie?
Heckler #3: Did you guys break up?
Odie: Well, this is getting annoying, but maybe some good will come of this.
A few minutes pass, then Heckler #2 approaches Odie with a hot dog.
Heckler #2: Hey, since you don’t have Barbie anymore, we bought you this hot dog.
Odie: Um, ok, I’ll eat it.
Heckler #2: Yeah you will!
Heckler #2 returns to his seat.
Odie: You know Jack, I don’t like the cut of their jib. [yelling] Hey Hecklers, who has the highest batting average on the Cubs? Real fans, please don’t answer!
A minute passes.
Heckler #3: Hey, give that hot dog back!
Two more minutes pass, then they finally answer the question.
Heckler #2: Barrett!
Odie: Well, it’s actually Jacque Jones, but at least you could name a Cub!
Heckler #3: I know how we can show him. Let’s get the wave going!
And that’s how Cubs fans lost their last shred of dignity.