Realm of the Wombat

Approximately. That’s about the amount of time it’s going to take for me to recover from this season. I will be paying only cursory attention to the playoffs, except to curse whenever the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, Cubs, Phillies, or Indians win.

I’m going to anticipate some questions here.

“What happened [to the Mets]?”

Most of the Mets pitchers rely on good defense behind them. In the last couple weeks, that defense was not as crisp, which led to extra outs for the opposition. Furthermore, the pitching staff was patched together from the beginning of the season. The bullpen was heavily used throughout the season, and ultimately the overwork cost them runs at the worst time. On the offensive side, Jose Reyes stopped hitting, Paul Lo Duca couldn’t match last year’s performance, and the mix of players in right field was average at best. No matter how good David Wright and Carlos Beltran were, they couldn’t make up for all of the other outs in the lineup.

“So are you going to root for the Cubs now?!”

No. The Cubs are a trendy thing to do, and if there’s anything I revolt against, it’s the trendy. Let me add that they won 85 games in one of the worst divisions I can remember. Applying the St. Louis theory of prediction, they will win the World Series.

“Are you going to root for the Red Sox against the Yankees?”

I will root for Curt Schilling to break his arm throwing a pitch, which will miraculously send the ball into Derek Jeter’s face. The Red Sox are just as evil as the Yankees, and their fans deserve another 80+ years of disappointment.

“Is there anyone you don’t hate in the playoffs?”

San Diego is pretty innocuous. I would find it hilarious if Michael Barrett, formerly of the Cubs, does something good against his former team. Unfortunately, Milton Bradley got hurt, and he was probably my favorite player on a playoff bound team.

[UPDATE]
Since the Rockies beat the Padres in their one-game playoff on Monday, the Padres are out, and the Rockies are in. As such, they take the crown of “Least Offensive Team in the Playoffs.” Most of their players are home grown, and they exist far enough away from me that their fans can’t annoy me.
[/UPDATE]

“But won’t you watch the games just because you’re a baseball fan?”

These games will be broadcast on Fox, who finds it their mission to make baseball unwatchable. The only way they could make it worse would be to hire Joe Morgan as a special correspondent.

“Who should be the NL MVP this year?”

Thanks to the team’s late season collapse, he won’t get the award, but here’s David Wright’s line for the year:
.325 AVG / .417 OBP / .548 SLG / 153 OPS+ / 34 SB at 87% success
Remember that the Mets play half their games in Shea, which has a run environment 96% of the league average (compare to Citizens Bank Park at 109%). So that’s my biased pick. But I won’t feel much better if Wright wins it, and I doubt he’ll feel much better about the season either.

Thursday: The Phillies had just completed a four-game sweep of the Mets, closing the gap in the NL East to two games. Even if the Mets would have won just once in the series, the Phils would have been at least four back going into the final month of the season. The first loss of the series was acceptable, even expected, with retread Brian Lawrence starting for the Metropolitans. However, the next two games were imminently winnable, being lost by a combination of physical and mental errors, with a little bad luck thrown in for good measure. The series finale ranks among the wildest, most heartbreaking losses I can remember. Down 5-0 after three innings, New York battled back to tie the game. The Phillies reclaimed the lead on the “strength” of a walk and a few bloop singles. Once again, the Mets rallied, scoring five runs in the eighth against a potpourri of Philly bullpen jokers to take a 10-8 lead. Manager Willie Randolph called on closer Billy Wagner to come on in the bottom of the eighth to take on the middle of the Phillies order. Immediately, I thought the decision was a good one. Put our best against their best, then bring in Heilman in the ninth to face the bottom of the order. Willie had other plans however. He wanted Wagner to get the 6-out save, something he has not accomplished in years. Pat Burrell continued his Mets-killing ways with a homer in the eighth, and Wagner was largely ineffective in the ninth, giving up two more runs and the game.

Friday: The Mets traveled to Atlanta, who has won each of the series between the clubs this year. Even worse for New York, Oliver Perez, the only starting pitcher to beat the Braves for the Mets this year, was not scheduled to start this weekend. On Friday though, John Maine was up to the task, shutting down the Braves for seven innings. Meanwhile, the Mets offense, that had been sputtering in the games leading upto Thursday’s 10 run outburst, went deep twice against Tim Hudson and added some insurance late for a 7-1 win.

Saturday: Much maligned rookie Mike Pelfrey had the best start of his career, striking out seven over six innings, only allowing one run. Carlos Delgado, Carlos Beltran, and Lastings Milledge all went yard for the Mets, and Guillermo Mota and Pedro Feliciano combined for three innings of one-hit pitching to close it out. Florida helped the cause by scoring seven runs before recording an out against the Phillies, and Mets lead in the NL East rose to three games.

Sunday: Tom Glavine, who has not fared well against his former team, tossed a solid six innings the Braves. David Wright’s 2-run home run in the fifth put the Mets on top, and Jorge Sosa and Aaron Heilman handed Billy Wagner a 3-1 lead in the bottom of the ninth. Wags was shaky again, giving up a run on two hits, but managed to finish it off, completing the sweep in the Mets house of horrors. At the same time, the Marlins recovered from a 4-0 deficit to beat the Phillies 7-6.

The Mets now take a four game lead to Cincinnati, where Pedro Martinez will start on Monday. While New York plays the genetically-inferior NL Central, the Phillies and Braves will be beating up on each other. Mets fans everywhere are back off the ledge, heart rates back to normal, and waiting for those fading footsteps to end with thud of the Phillies falling flat on their faces again.

Gems like this, from their latest edition of BTB Awards:

If you hear somebody ask what is wrong with Johan Santana this season, what with a “barely over .500″ record, you have my permission to punch that person in the neck.

Also you have to love a column with a regular feature called “This Week’s Dumbest Thing Ever.”

Mel and I were discussing the Mets series against Brewers and Cubs, the powerhouses of the NL Central. She concluded,

“That’s not even a competition,”

proving yet again why she’s a dandy.

5) The one wearing the Piniella jersey. I’ve never seen anyone with a custom manager’s jersey before.
4) The one wearing the Kyle Farnsworth jersey. Look, Ambiorix Burgos can throw 100 mph too. That doesn’t mean I’d get a custom Mets jersey of his.
3) The one wearing the Yankees Soriano shirt and Cubs hat. The only explanation is that this guy has been following Soriano around since he left New York.
2) The one wearing the Cubs jersey and Red Sox hat. This guy has no soul but doesn’t realize it, thus thinks he’s better than #3.
1) The one wearing the Cubs jersey and White Sox 2005 World Series hat. No comment.

Bonus: The most vocal heckler in our section who decided not to stay for extra innings.

Super Bonus!: The one who took a picture of first base coach Ivan DeJesus. Do you think she (A) thought he was a player (B) collects pictures of first base coaches or (C) wanted a picture of the man the Cubs traded away to get Ryne Sandberg?

I got of CTA at 6:45 pm to meet Odie before Pirates/Cubs game at Wrigley.

Five hours, four errors, 27 runners left on base, 41 players used, one stolen base by a catcher, one catcher caught stealing, two starting pitchers used as pinch hitters, three plays at the plate, two double plays with the bases loaded, an ejection, a blown save, two singings of “Take Me Out To the Ball Game,” two hot dogs, a few hecklers, 15 innings, and four scoresheets later, this was the scene:

Mercifully, after all that, Aramis Ramirez (former Pirate) struck out to end the game.

Give the game ball to Jonah Bayliss, who pitched the 12th, 13th, and 14th innings for the Bucs, only allowing one baserunner and notching four strikeouts. This was a welcome bit of sanity in an otherwise ridiculous exposition of NL Central baseball.

Coming soon: Top Five Cubs fans of the night!

You know about Brad Lidge and Aaron Heilman in the majors right now. Jeff Samardzija earned the headlines with his decision to play baseball instead of football. But keep an eye on Jeff Manship (Class of 2006), currently at Beloit (low-A) in the Minnesota organization. Twins pro-blogger Aaron Gleeman says:

Perhaps even more so than Slowey’s fantastic start at Triple-A, No. 12 prospect Jeff Manship’s first month at low Single-A sticks out as the organization’s best April performance. Manship posted a 0.84 ERA, 36-to-3 strikeout-to-walk ratio, and .147 opponent’s batting average in 32 innings spread over five starts. Equally as impressive, he had a 4.6-to-1 ground ball-to-fly ball ratio, which sticks out like a sore thumb in the Twins’ fly-ball heavy system and is a tremendous indicator for future success. [link]

Manship’s ND bio from 2006 and pro stats from MiLB.com

… this is what I would get:

I can’t even joke about buying a Sox jersey.

Those were the results of Sunday’s contest between the Reds and Cubs at Wrigley.

NL Central Division baseball. Catch the fever!

At least we saw this guy sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game.

Jimmy, you say the Phillies are the team to beat.

The Braves beat the Phillies. The Marlins beat the Phillies. The Mets beat the Phillies. And best of all, you beat the Phillies.

Apparently everyone believes you, Jimmy.

Last night, we went to see the A’s host the Chisox at the Coliseum. Loaiza started for the A’s and continued his second half resurgence, allowing 2 runs only four baserunners in 7 innings. The offense had plenty of opportunities and did enough damage to give Oakland the 4-2 victory. The win lowered the A’s magic number to 11, with 16 games to play. The two points I’d like to make are two examples of incompetence due to lack of focus of what was happening on the field.

I’ve never been so proud of Odie as when he related this story of his trip to Wrigley to watch his beloved Pittsburgh ‘Irates take on the Cubbies.

Scene: Odie, wearing his #18 Jason Kendall Pirates jersey, and Jack are in the bleachers
Odie: Jack, even though the Pirates are losing, I’m sure glad to be at the game.
Heckler #1: Hey Kendall, why not wear a good #18 from Pirates history?
Odie: Wow, that’s a good heckle. Andy van Slyke was number 18 before Kendall, and he was much better. I’m going to let that go.
Heckler #2: Hey Kendall, where’s Barbie?
Heckler #3: Yeah, where’s Barbie?
Odie: Well, that’s not really a good heckle, but they’re Cubs fans, so they don’t really have much to cheer about.
Heckler #2: Come on Kendall, where’s Barbie?
Heckler #3: Did you guys break up?
Odie: Well, this is getting annoying, but maybe some good will come of this.
A few minutes pass, then Heckler #2 approaches Odie with a hot dog.
Heckler #2: Hey, since you don’t have Barbie anymore, we bought you this hot dog.
Odie: Um, ok, I’ll eat it.
Heckler #2: Yeah you will!
Heckler #2 returns to his seat.
Odie: You know Jack, I don’t like the cut of their jib. [yelling] Hey Hecklers, who has the highest batting average on the Cubs? Real fans, please don’t answer!
Hecklers: [silence]
A minute passes.
Heckler #3: Hey, give that hot dog back!
Two more minutes pass, then they finally answer the question.
Heckler #2: Barrett!
Odie: Well, it’s actually Jacque Jones, but at least you could name a Cub!
Heckler #3: I know how we can show him. Let’s get the wave going!

And that’s how Cubs fans lost their last shred of dignity.