Realm of the Wombat

Approximately. That’s about the amount of time it’s going to take for me to recover from this season. I will be paying only cursory attention to the playoffs, except to curse whenever the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, Cubs, Phillies, or Indians win.

I’m going to anticipate some questions here.

“What happened [to the Mets]?”

Most of the Mets pitchers rely on good defense behind them. In the last couple weeks, that defense was not as crisp, which led to extra outs for the opposition. Furthermore, the pitching staff was patched together from the beginning of the season. The bullpen was heavily used throughout the season, and ultimately the overwork cost them runs at the worst time. On the offensive side, Jose Reyes stopped hitting, Paul Lo Duca couldn’t match last year’s performance, and the mix of players in right field was average at best. No matter how good David Wright and Carlos Beltran were, they couldn’t make up for all of the other outs in the lineup.

“So are you going to root for the Cubs now?!”

No. The Cubs are a trendy thing to do, and if there’s anything I revolt against, it’s the trendy. Let me add that they won 85 games in one of the worst divisions I can remember. Applying the St. Louis theory of prediction, they will win the World Series.

“Are you going to root for the Red Sox against the Yankees?”

I will root for Curt Schilling to break his arm throwing a pitch, which will miraculously send the ball into Derek Jeter’s face. The Red Sox are just as evil as the Yankees, and their fans deserve another 80+ years of disappointment.

“Is there anyone you don’t hate in the playoffs?”

San Diego is pretty innocuous. I would find it hilarious if Michael Barrett, formerly of the Cubs, does something good against his former team. Unfortunately, Milton Bradley got hurt, and he was probably my favorite player on a playoff bound team.

[UPDATE]
Since the Rockies beat the Padres in their one-game playoff on Monday, the Padres are out, and the Rockies are in. As such, they take the crown of “Least Offensive Team in the Playoffs.” Most of their players are home grown, and they exist far enough away from me that their fans can’t annoy me.
[/UPDATE]

“But won’t you watch the games just because you’re a baseball fan?”

These games will be broadcast on Fox, who finds it their mission to make baseball unwatchable. The only way they could make it worse would be to hire Joe Morgan as a special correspondent.

“Who should be the NL MVP this year?”

Thanks to the team’s late season collapse, he won’t get the award, but here’s David Wright’s line for the year:
.325 AVG / .417 OBP / .548 SLG / 153 OPS+ / 34 SB at 87% success
Remember that the Mets play half their games in Shea, which has a run environment 96% of the league average (compare to Citizens Bank Park at 109%). So that’s my biased pick. But I won’t feel much better if Wright wins it, and I doubt he’ll feel much better about the season either.

Jere’s YouTube Pick of the Day: One Semester of Spanish Love Song

I recently won myself a $25 gift card for iTunes by winning an MLB weekly challenge on ProTrade.com. Here’s the proof:

My last win in a contest was the 1993 Electronic Gaming Monthly Super Tour Wing Commander: Secret Missions competition. I had played Wing Commander on PC and SNES quite a bit, so when I took my turn at the new Wing Commander: Secret Missions game, I was a natural. I think I shot down 16 enemies, and the most they had seen anyone shoot was like 10 at another stop on their mall tour. For my efforts, I won a copy of the new Wing Commander and this other game for SNES, Outlander. Outlander was a terrible game, but since it was a new release, I was able to sell it at Funcoland for enough money to buy a used GameBoy.

I am predicting that my next win will come in 2015 when I answer a trivia question about Kirby Puckett’s 1989 batting average title, which will earn me two tickets to a high school performance of Cats.

People have been telling me I need cable. When I ask why, I get two responses:

1) The Daily Show and Colbert Report
2) ESPN

With regards to point 1, Comedy Central puts the entire episodes of Stewart and Colbert online in clip format, so you don’t even have to watch commercials.

With regards to point 2, what exactly am I missing without ESPN? Sportscenter and Baseball Tonight are unwatchable. ESPN shows very few actual sporting events these days, and people employed to describe the action are unbearable. Joe Morgan, the network’s top baseball analyst, has inspired an entire website devoted to pointing out how little he knows about baseball. ESPN does show a good number of college football games, but you might hear something like this in a game in overtime. Is that really worth the $50 per month?

You’re a cowboy, and get involved in a three way pistol duel with two other cowboys. You are a poor shot, with an accuracy of only 33%. The other two cowboys shoot with accuracies of 50% and 100%, respectively. The rules of the duel are one shot per cowboy per round. The shooting order is from worst shooter to best shooter, so you get to shoot first, the 50% guy goes second, and the 100% guy goes third, then repeat. If a cowboy is shot he’s out for good, and his turn is skipped. Where or who should you shoot first?

Continue reading for the answer…

I miss watching Conan, but he’s on way past my bedtime.

The Romney family sacrifices for America

New York     83 67 .553 -
Philadelphia 82 69 .543 1.5

For those of you who like graphical representations, see the Hardball Times.

Of course, the Tigers and Cardinals backed into the playoffs last year and ended up playing each other in the World Series, so who knows.

Jere’s YouTube Pick of the Day: The View discusses flat vs. round earth theories.

I love the Bay Area: Art Car Fest 2007

Michigan fans, meet your masters…

Thursday: The Phillies had just completed a four-game sweep of the Mets, closing the gap in the NL East to two games. Even if the Mets would have won just once in the series, the Phils would have been at least four back going into the final month of the season. The first loss of the series was acceptable, even expected, with retread Brian Lawrence starting for the Metropolitans. However, the next two games were imminently winnable, being lost by a combination of physical and mental errors, with a little bad luck thrown in for good measure. The series finale ranks among the wildest, most heartbreaking losses I can remember. Down 5-0 after three innings, New York battled back to tie the game. The Phillies reclaimed the lead on the “strength” of a walk and a few bloop singles. Once again, the Mets rallied, scoring five runs in the eighth against a potpourri of Philly bullpen jokers to take a 10-8 lead. Manager Willie Randolph called on closer Billy Wagner to come on in the bottom of the eighth to take on the middle of the Phillies order. Immediately, I thought the decision was a good one. Put our best against their best, then bring in Heilman in the ninth to face the bottom of the order. Willie had other plans however. He wanted Wagner to get the 6-out save, something he has not accomplished in years. Pat Burrell continued his Mets-killing ways with a homer in the eighth, and Wagner was largely ineffective in the ninth, giving up two more runs and the game.

Friday: The Mets traveled to Atlanta, who has won each of the series between the clubs this year. Even worse for New York, Oliver Perez, the only starting pitcher to beat the Braves for the Mets this year, was not scheduled to start this weekend. On Friday though, John Maine was up to the task, shutting down the Braves for seven innings. Meanwhile, the Mets offense, that had been sputtering in the games leading upto Thursday’s 10 run outburst, went deep twice against Tim Hudson and added some insurance late for a 7-1 win.

Saturday: Much maligned rookie Mike Pelfrey had the best start of his career, striking out seven over six innings, only allowing one run. Carlos Delgado, Carlos Beltran, and Lastings Milledge all went yard for the Mets, and Guillermo Mota and Pedro Feliciano combined for three innings of one-hit pitching to close it out. Florida helped the cause by scoring seven runs before recording an out against the Phillies, and Mets lead in the NL East rose to three games.

Sunday: Tom Glavine, who has not fared well against his former team, tossed a solid six innings the Braves. David Wright’s 2-run home run in the fifth put the Mets on top, and Jorge Sosa and Aaron Heilman handed Billy Wagner a 3-1 lead in the bottom of the ninth. Wags was shaky again, giving up a run on two hits, but managed to finish it off, completing the sweep in the Mets house of horrors. At the same time, the Marlins recovered from a 4-0 deficit to beat the Phillies 7-6.

The Mets now take a four game lead to Cincinnati, where Pedro Martinez will start on Monday. While New York plays the genetically-inferior NL Central, the Phillies and Braves will be beating up on each other. Mets fans everywhere are back off the ledge, heart rates back to normal, and waiting for those fading footsteps to end with thud of the Phillies falling flat on their faces again.