In 9th grade biology, Mr. D posed the question, “What part of the human body will be evolved out next?” The answer seemed obvious to everyone else: the pinky toe. While I agree that it’s essentially useless, I failed to see how human populations would derive advantage from the lack thereof. It’s common to hear about apendices rupturing, a serious medical situation that could result in death. However, I’ve never heard about a person bleeding to death after severing their pinky toe. Would a hungry, enraged hyena pass by an eight-toe human for a pinky toer because it needs the extra meat? Maybe all the time that I’m wasting on trimming that ridiculously tiny toe nail could be spent researching mutual funds that will increase in value in the post-fossil fuel world? The internet community has no conclusive answer either.

So I don’t know what the future holds for the pinky toe from an evolutionary standpoint. But I do know one way that our pinky toe-less descendants will be genetically superior: They won’t have to deal with that little appendage rubbing up against the inside of a new shoe and getting all blistered while the shoe is being broken in. And I’m envious.